Stupid Staging: What Not to Do If You Actually Want to Sell Your Home

Hey there, home sellers! Jason Henry here, your straight-talking real estate gal who’s seen it all—especially the dumb stuff people do when staging their homes. I read this piece on Inman.com called "Stupid Staging: What Not to Do If You Actually Want to Sell," and honey, it hit the nail on the head. Let me break it down for you with some real-world flops I’ve witnessed. Trust me, you would rather not be *that* seller.

First off, don’t leave your creepy doll collection on display. I had a client once—sweet lady, terrible taste—who thought her porcelain babies lined up on the mantel screamed “cozy.” Nope. Buyers bolted faster than you can say “Chucky.” Personal junk like that? Pack it up. You’re selling a house, not a shrine to your weird hobbies.

Next, skip the pet parade. I get it, Fido’s your fur-baby, but his chewed-up toys and that lingering doggy whiff? Deal-breakers. One open house, I watched a couple gag over a cat-hair-covered couch. Clean it, deodorize it, or kiss your sale goodbye.

And please, no tacky themes. Had a guy stage his place like a pirate ship—eye patches, parrots, the works. Buyers don’t want a gimmick; they want a blank slate. Ditch the over-the-top decor and keep it neutral. Beige might bore you, but it sells.

Oh, and don’t overcrowd the joint. I’ve tripped over ottomans in homes so stuffed you’d think it was a furniture store. Less is more, folks—let buyers see the space, not your sofa obsession.

Last tip: don’t skimp on repairs. That hole in the wall you “artfully” hid with a poster? Buyers notice. Fix it. Staging’s about polish, not trickery.

So, take it from ME: declutter, depersonalize, and don’t be a cheapskate. You want that “sold” sign? Avoid these stupid staging sins. Call me if you’re stuck—I’ll whip your place into shape!

Let me know if you’d like adjustments or a different character vibe!

Here are my top 10 staging NO-NOs every seller should know!

1. A dead lawn that says, “I can’t be bothered with watering,” or “The sprinkler system is broken.”
2. The pickup truck or large SUV is parked in the driveway because the garage is too small
3. Political signs for an upcoming election where your buyers hate the candidate
4. The “Welcome” doormat that’s so beat up it dares you to walk over it without tripping.
5. The broken tricycle, dead plants, miscellaneous gardening tools and the hose stretched across the steps to the front porch that make you question the wisdom of continuing the showing.
6. Wait — is that a wasp’s nest?
7. Smelly garbage cans sitting adjacent to the walkway to the front door.
8. What’s that stain on the carpet — is it wine, coffee or something else?
9. Mismatched furniture from five decades in a single room (shabby chic meets mid-century meltdown). 
10. Dusty top shelves are littered with gadgets, collectibles, and a George Foreman grill that haven’t been dusted in years. 

If you can make sure these 10 things are avoided in your home before each showing, open house and event it is smoother sailing in the selling process.